If this isn’t obvious already, one of my main prayer requests is for babies. Lord, bring me babies. Lord heal my body. All day, every day. So often I pray for physical healing. Healing from back pain. Healing from headaches. Healing from stomach problems. Healing to my body.
What God reminded me of and spoke to me as a fresh revelation the other day, is that he isn’t just after healing my physical body. Does he desire to do that? Of course. Healing is God’s nature. It’s who he is and what he is does. But I really think there is more that he wants.
My thoughts on what God is really after? God is after your heart. I’ve shared about this before indirectly, but it’s one of the many reasons I believe this journey isn’t about a baby. If it was just about that, then God would have brought my babies many years ago. But it’s about more than that. He wants to heal my heart. He wants to heal my mind. He wants the very best for me in all areas of life, and that goes much deeper than bringing me a baby. So deep that he goes after my heart.
“For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
Do you see why God’s after your heart? Because “everything flows from it” and it dictates what you speak. Your heart is the core of who you are. It dictates how you respond to people, make decisions, treat others and how you live. The condition of your heart affects everything, absolutely everything, about your life. That means if you have a damaged heart from prior relationships, trauma that has been caused, hurtful situations or anything else negative, then it all trickles out to the rest of your life as well. Just as a patient who has heart damage can not function at full capacity, you will not be able to function at full capacity emotionally, spiritually and mentally without getting your heart fixed.
Keep praying for physical healing. Keep praying to see your dreams come to pass. Keep praying for miracles to happen. But know that God doesn’t want to just answer you prayer for physical breakthrough, he wants to heal your heart too. And he’s not just after healing it, even though he wants to do that, but he’s after the connection that the healing can bring between the two of you. Because when your heart is healed? You can fully engage in a healthy relationship with him and you can truly know who he is as your good, good Father.
God desires so much more than just to answer your prayer, he wants all of you. He desires intimacy and friendship with you. He wants to go to places together that you two have never gone before. Because ultimately, God’s after your heart.
PS. If you are going through infertility, please head over to my ministry to join my support group!
PPS. Have you picked up a copy of my book? Buy In Due Time, a 60-day devotional for hope + encouragement in the waiting.
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