What We Want You To Know About Infertility

Today, it’s an honor to team up with so many amazing ladies on a topic that is so important to all of us, infertility. I have crossed paths with each of these ladies over the past four years. Some are still fighting their battles while some are on the other side and now holding their babies. Either way, they know all to well about infertility.

They have been through heartache and loss. They have endured the pokes, prods, and the tears. They have been left with empty arms and bruised hearts. They have waited years. They have spent countless hours at the doctor’s office, many driving hours each way or flying across country to see a specialist. They have endured it all. These women inspire and encourage me every day as they share their stories. They haven’t given up. Many, much like myself, many have been tempted to do so. But, they have remained steadfast in their journeys and despite the odds that are stacked against them continue to believe that their desires to become mothers will be met. 

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week we have all compiled what we want you to know about infertility. I asked the question and these ladies answered. So…..

We want you to know that……

Elena | Baby Ridley Bump – Infertility will consume you. The treatment, the waiting, seeing others who aren’t struggling, always wondering why me, or when will it happen; the thoughts will be constant. It’s very important to remember to live & enjoy life!!  Be sure to take time to to be grateful for the abundance of blessings that you do have. Don’t let infertility steal your joy.

Jessi | Life Abundantly – I’m still the same person/friend, sometimes I just hurt. You don’t have to be awkward around me or be afraid to ask questions. It doesn’t hurt me to talk about my infertility – it hurts me to feel alone and like I will burden someone by bringing it up.

Cheryl | Homespun Devotions – Encouragement means so much. Analyzing, offering well-meaning suggestions, and trying to figure out who is to blame can deeply wound the heart of a couple walking through infertility. Kindness and sensitivity to their feelings is always in order, and the best gifts you can ever give them is your love and prayers.

Carissa | No Bun in the Oven – Infertility is more common than you might think and there is likely a friend or family member silently struggling with it. You can help someone in need with a hug or an ear to listen. Don’t let a lack of knowledge hold you back because just spending a few minutes on a website like Resolve.org can arm you with the tools you need to be there for someone.

Lisa | Amateur Nester – Infertility affects all areas of your life. It’s not just about medicine, shots, and visits to the doctor. It takes an emotional, physical, financial, relational, and spiritual toll. Someone who is experiencing infertility needs support in all those areas.

Stacy | Live, Laugh, Love – Not everyone can get pregnant; and not everyone can get pregnant easily. Fertility treatment cycles are exhausting in every way – financially, mentally, physically, and take up a lot of time for Dr visits. While going through a fertility treatment cycle, many of us have been up for hours and traveled to/from the Dr (often waiting in line with others) all before the start to a regular work day. Telling us to relax will not magically fix our fertility issues or actually help us to relax.

Chelsea | Starbucks, Peace, and the Pursuit of a Baby – God is entirely in charge of fertility, whether people utilize modern medicine or not. A card, a bouquet of flowers, or a cup of coffee means to a infertile friend around Mother’s Day. In order for a relationship to survive infertility, it takes incredible dedication, communication and grace. I can still fully trust God, but still have sad-for-me days.

Amie | Is it time yet? – Infertility inhibits being able to live in the moment. It’s being in a fog where all you think about and see is the struggle while missing the life that is passing you by. It’s being consumed with everything infertility related and the thought of never having a baby instead of enjoying the blessings all around.

Becky | Eternally Hopeful – Sometimes infertility is quiet. It doesn’t always look like hormones and injections, IVF, doctor appointments and charting your next steps. Sometimes it is just quiet prayers, faithful hope and a patient long-suffering.

Evangeline | Make room for Mommy – God’s intention is that none would be barren. He has not brought infertility as a punishment, but the enemy did/does to hinder/stop the birth of champions from God.

Jojo | Jojo’s Infertile World – Infertility doesn’t only affect women of a certain age range. If anyone feels like something is wrong they should seek answers.

Logan | With Great Expectation – Even though there may be times of awkwardness and times when we are jealous of you, we still want to be friends with you. We want to be involved in your lives, and even in the lives of your children. We care about your growing families, your pregnancies, your joys, and your struggles.

Ali | Anchored in Hope – Every couple deals with infertility differently. Some will be open, while others will be more private about their experience. Either way, don’t be afraid to ask your infertile friends how you can support them.

Elisha | Waiting for Baby Bird – Infertility is a disease that often times makes you feel different. Alone. Insecure. Embarrassed. Forgotten. Broken. And Overlooked. It makes you avoid the ones you love and doubt the God you serve. It suffocates your hope. Weakens your faith. And steals your joy. It makes you feel helpless as there is little you can do to change your condition. And if there is? You have tried it.

Lauren | Grow My Family – Infertility is a journey with a lot of ups and downs. Some days I smile and put on a brave face- that doesn’t mean I’m not hurting inside. Other days I feel sad and find myself in tears- that doesn’t mean I’ve lost hope. And then some days I am genuinely happy and peaceful. It’s all just part of the journey.

Lauren | I am Fruitful – Unlike other difficult life situations, infertility is a struggle that you‘re told yes or no every single month. If we have put it out there that we are going through this struggle, it’s ok to ask how we‘re doing. In fact we want to be asked!

Rhonda | Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This – The reasons why a person hasn’t had a baby yet can be incredibly complex and multi-faceted, and not the least of all, very personal.

Laura | Making Baby Provence – Infertility is a couple’s struggle. Men seem stoic and strong, but they hurt inside, too. There are always two people on this journey.

Bri | Dreaming of Diapers – Infertility requires more patience than most can comprehend. We are in a society of, “If we want it, we get it.” But infertility doesn’t work that way. And most people, who are not dealing with infertility, don’t understand. If we have opened up to you about our infertility, we have already tried every “trick” in the book. Also, we will share any good news when we are ready, so thank you for not asking if we are pregnant. We simply want your support, love, understanding…and patience as well.

Suzanne | Our Journey to Baby Bump – Infertility can be mind-consuming and really tests the strength of your soul at times. So things like “just adopt” or “you need to relax” doesn’t help ease our hearts. And when we finally do have our long awaited child…telling us we finally just “let it happen” hurts just as much. I just want everyone out there that’s never gone through this to know that women (and men) going through infertility are strong on days they don’t want to be and are literally some of the bravest of the brave for what they endure. So love on them a little extra.

Betsy | Hope During Infertility – Infertility makes it hard to fit in. As a married woman who wants to have kids, I am drawn to like-minded people. Yet when friends have kids and I don’t, social situations can make me feel excluded, which makes infertility harder than it already is.

Meredith | It’s Positive Living – Feeling isolated, forgotten, unimportant, and/or minimized hurts more than any treatment or procedure. I don’t want to be pitied; I want to know that you remember our condition, love us and support us through it — even if it makes you uncomfortable.

And my answer? While infertility doesn’t entail survival-statistics or chances of death, much like a diagnosis of cancer might, sometimes it feels like death on the inside. Death of dreams. Death of desires. Death of emotions. Death of your body. Death of friendships. Death of your future. Death of unanswered prayers. Death of finances. Death of time. It often feels like death to your heart each month when you learn that yet again, this isn’t the month.

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