Are You Setting Others Up to Win?

Are the friends in your life setting you up to win? In other words do your friends really want you to succeed in all areas (spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically, etc)? And what if you switched that question around? Do you want your friends to succeed? Do you celebrate with them when they get that baby, new job, husband, or house that you have also been longing for? Or do you turn bitter and jealous?

I mentioned in May that I attended a Women’s conference. One of my favorite sermons was by Charlotte Gambill on setting others up to win. Everything she shared really resonated me. In a culture where it’s so easy to want to connect instead of commit, she pointed to the fact that it takes a lot of effort to pursue a true friendship. 

What does true friendship look like to you? Is it one that is based on connection? While there is nothing wrong with conversing through text messages and social media, what would it look like to move beyond the connection and truly commit as a friend? It has to be much more than a weekly text, right? Do you have people in your life who through conversation and discussion you are going deeper with? You know, talking about the ups and downs as well as everything in between?

First, I think that it is important to remember that we are all on the same team. As followers of Jesus, once we realize that someone else’s success is our success, not our failure, is when we transition from being on our own team to being on everyone else’s team too. This puts us in a position to allow God to win, instead of the enemy who floods our thoughts with jealousy and bitterness.

The enemy uses every tactic possible to make God’s family look dysfunctional. Look around… it’s obvious that some (not all) friendships and family units look much different than what God originally intended. It doesn’t have to be that way and that is where you come in. Look for people around you who are willing to commit. Find those who will stay consistently by your side even if their wins happen before yours. Find the friends who will be so committed that they won’t flee from you when trials come your way, but they will press in even more and pray even harder.

God has designed us to live in community with others and it’s so important that it’s done through commitment to each other. I have seen this on our own journey. We have an army of people following our story and praying for us and you know what, when we get pregnant, all these prayer warriors and committed friends win too! Our win becomes their win!

Just as God is committed to your win, your success, and your breakthrough the people all around you should be as well. Surround yourself with people that know how to commit, not the ones that only want to connect. Celebrate those who need to be celebrated and mourn with those who mourn. I promise you it’s much better to set those up around you to win, than it is to hope that they fail. And when you do? Their win is not only God’s win, but it’s your win too!

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