Lately I have been inundated with direct messages (DM’s) on instagram from strangers. On Tuesday, I had 5 people who I had never previously connected with reach out to me.
On most occasions I would gladly connect with these strangers, because I think one of the beautiful parts about the blog world is getting to interact with people from all over the world. But, this situation was different. All 5 of these people reached out to ask me if I wanted to be on their “team.” In other words, was I interested in joining their multi-level marketing team?
I have written a post that might sound very familiar to this topic called “Why I Am Not Interested In Your Multilevel Marketing Product.” But today’s post has a different message.
A pastor at our church recently gave an example that I think will help you understand the point I want to make today. He was hanging out with a big-time pastor. Another pastor walked up to the big-time pastor and said something to the effect of, “oh my gosh, it’s you, I have been trying to get you to come speak at my church for years.”
Let me point out that there is nothing wrong with the words the star-struck pastor said to the big-time pastor. But between the example from the pastor and the prior example of those strangers reaching out to me via instagram, I think there is a kingdom principle missing.
Relationships start with “hello, my name is….” They don’t start with “what can you do for me.” They don’t start with “will you buy this item so I can make some money off you.” They start when people are willing to take the time to get to know one another, invest in one another and spend time with one another.
I think the problem is we now live in a society of transactional relationships, instead of kingdom relationships. We try to skip the fundamentals and head straight into a business transaction. And this goes way beyond instagram. This holds true for everyday life situations too. And let me point out that I made sure to say “we” because I need to hear this truth just as much as anyone else does.
The beautiful thing about building a true relationship first? Is then the transactional conversations happen and that’s okay. Had any of the 5 people previously mentioned first taken time to get to know me, I might have had responded differently than “no” when they invited me to be on their team. Just like I can text a friend who I have known for a while and ask her a favor without having to say “how are you?” And visa versa. A friend can text me and ask me a quick question without having to have a heart-to-heart. There is freedom to be found in kingdom relationships! But the freedom can’t be found unless you first start with the key principles.
And the key principle starts with Jesus. Jesus is about relationship. All throughout scripture, this is what Jesus modeled. He was always after connecting with others, focusing on others, building others up and serving others. And that is all he wants with us; a relationship.
So what if you, and I, shifted from a business mindset to a kingdom mindset? What if we all chose relationships instead of transactions? What if instead of approaching people with the mindset of “what can you do for me?” we approached them with “what can I do for you?” What if we started each relationship with “hello, my name is..?”
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