A Letter to the Mom in the Making

Dear Mom in the Making,

My heart goes out to you. I don’t know if this letter finds you filled with an outpouring of hope or overcome with feelings of fear or defeat. From experience, I know that the emotions can span such a wide range on any given day. No matter how you are feeling today, please know that you aren’t alone. If you feel like you are, that is totally understandable. It’s hard not to feel that way when it seems like everyone around is pregnant.

I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but your wait is not in vain. There is purpose for your journey. That sure doesn’t make it easy and it doesn’t mean you won’t endure heartache along the way, but it does mean that you can wait with hope because there is purpose to the season you are in.

Give grace to those who give you unhelpful advice. Your friends and family don’t tell you to adopt or to take a vacation to try to hurt you. If they knew how hurtful those comments were, they wouldn’t say them, but they say these things because they want so badly to see you become a mom too. Seek to forgive those people who have caused pain in your heart.

Don’t give up. Keep holding on to your dream. When the baby shower invitations come in the mail or you receive the news of another pregnancy announcement, continue to press forward. If you keep your eyes fixed on Christ, you will get through. Easier said than done right? Some days it might feel like the only thing you can focus on is infertility. But try not to focus so much on infertility that you miss this time with Jesus and your husband. I know there will be days filled with tears, but make an effort to seek joy in your marriage.

I wish I could take away all your pain. I wish I could wipe away your tears, give you a big hug, or even better – pray over you in person. I wish I was there to lift your arms up when you feel like you can’t take another day. The reminder is that you can! The Lord will give you the perfect amount of strength to endure each and every day. And your babies will come at the perfect time because the Lord always keeps his promises; he is never early, nor is he late, but he is always right on time.

Because of the long, arduous and painful journey you have been on, you are going to be the most amazing mother ever. Think of all the ways you have grown while waiting. Wouldn’t you agree that you have more faith, more strength, more patience and more understanding? While you wait you are being made into the image of Christ and there is no better mom in the world than one that has the character traits of Jesus.

You are loved. You are beautiful. You are whole. Don’t think any less of yourself because of this journey. Whatever emotion you are feeling today, please know that there is someone living in Texas going through so many of the same emotions that you are. Even though so many people can’t understand your pain, 1 in 8 do, including myself. Don’t give up. Your wait will be worth it! I am cheering you on and even if I don’t know you personally I am believing with you for your breakthrough.

With Love,

From one Mom in the Making to another

PS. Check out my other letters to my “mom” self and our future babies!

PPS. Are you looking for infertility support? Come join our group!
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