I Didn’t Choose Infertility
I am always so honored when other bloggers and friends are willing to guest post for me. Today, the wonderful Natasha Metzler is sharing a post with us! She is the author of several books and encourages so many over at her blog – writing about the brokenness of life meeting the glory of redemption. Thank you Natasha for sharing with us today! If you don’t already follow her posts, I highly recommend you do!
I Didn’t Choose Infertility
When the doctor told me there was a great chance I would never bear a child, I truly thought my heart would crumble and die.
This wasn’t what I wanted for my life. People have babies all the time—how could my body not?
It took me years, but I eventually realized that I needed to let go of the picture I had created in my mind of what I wanted my life to look like. To let go of my dreams.
The fact of the matter is that circumstances happen, and I don’t always get to control them. In fact, most of the time I don’t have any say in the matter at all.
I can’t help but think of Esther, the beautiful Jewish girl who was forced into a race for the hand of the world’s mightiest king. I wonder what dreams she had for her life? Perhaps she hoped for a quiet marriage and a cottage full of children. Perhaps she even had someone else she loved.
Horrible circumstances tore her away from her life and landed her right into a new one. A life of palace intrigue and a battle for an entire generation of her people. While there were obviously some incredible advantages to being queen, there were also some pretty horrible disadvantages—like not being able to go talk to your husband when you want to without risking your life.
Esther didn’t choose to be in the running for queen any more than I “chose” to face infertility. But God had a purpose for her and I have to believe that He has a purpose for me as well.
In society today we put great emphasis on “choices”. We demand the right to decide things for ourselves. But the truth is that things happen. People get hurt. Diagnosis’ come. People die. Wars start. We cannot always control who is over us. Still, we have this promise from God:
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31)
I have a choice that is always mine to make. No matter what my circumstances, no matter what comes my way, I get to answer the question: “Will I or will I not depend on Jesus Christ? Will I find my strength in Him?”
Friends, there will be times when circumstances are out of your control. You’ll find yourself in positions that you never asked to be in. It’s so easy to stand there and groan over what is happening to you. To stand on your own and cling to the unfairness of life.
But you do have another choice. Just as I have another choice.
Instead of standing alone, we can put our trust in the One-Who-Never-Fails. We can gain our strength from the King-of-kings. We can put our faith not in the things of this world but in Christ—who uses all things for His glory.
I don’t know what unfair circumstance you’re facing today. Maybe it is infertility or maybe another kind of loss—but no matter what, you have a choice.
And when we turn to Him, when we reach out for His truth and His life—He can give us HIS strength to do the impossible. Just like He did with Esther.