What We Want You To Know About Infertility

Today, it’s an honor to team up with so many amazing ladies on a topic that is so important to all of us, infertility. I have crossed paths with each of these ladies over the past four years. Some are still fighting their battles while some are on the other side and now holding their babies. Either way, they know all to well about infertility.

They have been through heartache and loss. They have endured the pokes, prods, and the tears. They have been left with empty arms and bruised hearts. They have waited years. They have spent countless hours at the doctor’s office, many driving hours each way or flying across country to see a specialist. They have endured it all. These women inspire and encourage me every day as they share their stories. They haven’t given up. Many, much like myself, many have been tempted to do so. But, they have remained steadfast in their journeys and despite the odds that are stacked against them continue to believe that their desires to become mothers will be met. 

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week we have all compiled what we want you to know about infertility. I asked the question and these ladies answered. So…..

We want you to know that……

Elena | Baby Ridley Bump – Infertility will consume you. The treatment, the waiting, seeing others who aren’t struggling, always wondering why me, or when will it happen; the thoughts will be constant. It’s very important to remember to live & enjoy life!!  Be sure to take time to to be grateful for the abundance of blessings that you do have. Don’t let infertility steal your joy.

Jessi | Life Abundantly – I’m still the same person/friend, sometimes I just hurt. You don’t have to be awkward around me or be afraid to ask questions. It doesn’t hurt me to talk about my infertility – it hurts me to feel alone and like I will burden someone by bringing it up.

Cheryl | Homespun Devotions – Encouragement means so much. Analyzing, offering well-meaning suggestions, and trying to figure out who is to blame can deeply wound the heart of a couple walking through infertility. Kindness and sensitivity to their feelings is always in order, and the best gifts you can ever give them is your love and prayers.

Carissa | No Bun in the Oven – Infertility is more common than you might think and there is likely a friend or family member silently struggling with it. You can help someone in need with a hug or an ear to listen. Don’t let a lack of knowledge hold you back because just spending a few minutes on a website like Resolve.org can arm you with the tools you need to be there for someone.

Lisa | Amateur Nester – Infertility affects all areas of your life. It’s not just about medicine, shots, and visits to the doctor. It takes an emotional, physical, financial, relational, and spiritual toll. Someone who is experiencing infertility needs support in all those areas.

Stacy | Live, Laugh, Love – Not everyone can get pregnant; and not everyone can get pregnant easily. Fertility treatment cycles are exhausting in every way – financially, mentally, physically, and take up a lot of time for Dr visits. While going through a fertility treatment cycle, many of us have been up for hours and traveled to/from the Dr (often waiting in line with others) all before the start to a regular work day. Telling us to relax will not magically fix our fertility issues or actually help us to relax.

Chelsea | Starbucks, Peace, and the Pursuit of a Baby – God is entirely in charge of fertility, whether people utilize modern medicine or not. A card, a bouquet of flowers, or a cup of coffee means to a infertile friend around Mother’s Day. In order for a relationship to survive infertility, it takes incredible dedication, communication and grace. I can still fully trust God, but still have sad-for-me days.

Amie | Is it time yet? – Infertility inhibits being able to live in the moment. It’s being in a fog where all you think about and see is the struggle while missing the life that is passing you by. It’s being consumed with everything infertility related and the thought of never having a baby instead of enjoying the blessings all around.

Becky | Eternally Hopeful – Sometimes infertility is quiet. It doesn’t always look like hormones and injections, IVF, doctor appointments and charting your next steps. Sometimes it is just quiet prayers, faithful hope and a patient long-suffering.

Evangeline | Make room for Mommy – God’s intention is that none would be barren. He has not brought infertility as a punishment, but the enemy did/does to hinder/stop the birth of champions from God.

Jojo | Jojo’s Infertile World – Infertility doesn’t only affect women of a certain age range. If anyone feels like something is wrong they should seek answers.

Logan | With Great Expectation – Even though there may be times of awkwardness and times when we are jealous of you, we still want to be friends with you. We want to be involved in your lives, and even in the lives of your children. We care about your growing families, your pregnancies, your joys, and your struggles.

Ali | Anchored in Hope – Every couple deals with infertility differently. Some will be open, while others will be more private about their experience. Either way, don’t be afraid to ask your infertile friends how you can support them.

Elisha | Waiting for Baby Bird – Infertility is a disease that often times makes you feel different. Alone. Insecure. Embarrassed. Forgotten. Broken. And Overlooked. It makes you avoid the ones you love and doubt the God you serve. It suffocates your hope. Weakens your faith. And steals your joy. It makes you feel helpless as there is little you can do to change your condition. And if there is? You have tried it.

Lauren | Grow My Family – Infertility is a journey with a lot of ups and downs. Some days I smile and put on a brave face- that doesn’t mean I’m not hurting inside. Other days I feel sad and find myself in tears- that doesn’t mean I’ve lost hope. And then some days I am genuinely happy and peaceful. It’s all just part of the journey.

Lauren | I am Fruitful – Unlike other difficult life situations, infertility is a struggle that you‘re told yes or no every single month. If we have put it out there that we are going through this struggle, it’s ok to ask how we‘re doing. In fact we want to be asked!

Rhonda | Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This – The reasons why a person hasn’t had a baby yet can be incredibly complex and multi-faceted, and not the least of all, very personal.

Laura | Making Baby Provence – Infertility is a couple’s struggle. Men seem stoic and strong, but they hurt inside, too. There are always two people on this journey.

Bri | Dreaming of Diapers – Infertility requires more patience than most can comprehend. We are in a society of, “If we want it, we get it.” But infertility doesn’t work that way. And most people, who are not dealing with infertility, don’t understand. If we have opened up to you about our infertility, we have already tried every “trick” in the book. Also, we will share any good news when we are ready, so thank you for not asking if we are pregnant. We simply want your support, love, understanding…and patience as well.

Suzanne | Our Journey to Baby Bump – Infertility can be mind-consuming and really tests the strength of your soul at times. So things like “just adopt” or “you need to relax” doesn’t help ease our hearts. And when we finally do have our long awaited child…telling us we finally just “let it happen” hurts just as much. I just want everyone out there that’s never gone through this to know that women (and men) going through infertility are strong on days they don’t want to be and are literally some of the bravest of the brave for what they endure. So love on them a little extra.

Betsy | Hope During Infertility – Infertility makes it hard to fit in. As a married woman who wants to have kids, I am drawn to like-minded people. Yet when friends have kids and I don’t, social situations can make me feel excluded, which makes infertility harder than it already is.

Meredith | It’s Positive Living – Feeling isolated, forgotten, unimportant, and/or minimized hurts more than any treatment or procedure. I don’t want to be pitied; I want to know that you remember our condition, love us and support us through it — even if it makes you uncomfortable.

And my answer? While infertility doesn’t entail survival-statistics or chances of death, much like a diagnosis of cancer might, sometimes it feels like death on the inside. Death of dreams. Death of desires. Death of emotions. Death of your body. Death of friendships. Death of your future. Death of unanswered prayers. Death of finances. Death of time. It often feels like death to your heart each month when you learn that yet again, this isn’t the month.

What We Want You To Know About Infertility

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32 Comments
  • Karmen (also @imdreamingoftheday on iG :)
    Posted at 08:35h, 27 April Reply

    such a good post Caroline! It’s all so relatable. It has been really helpful for me to read infertility blogs/articles and see words that could have been taken out of my own mouth.. knowing we aren’t alone in all of these emotions makes a big difference! thank you for putting this all together!

  • Bri
    Posted at 08:39h, 27 April Reply

    This is amazing Caroline! Thank you for bringing all of us together and shining light during #NIAW We are stronger together! Xoxo

  • Carissa Maul
    Posted at 08:40h, 27 April Reply

    Such an AMAZING post and you’ve allowed me to find and follow some other amazing women who are also on this journey or thankfully have made it to the other side of the storm! You are such a blessing and I am SO THANKFUL for you!

  • Lyndsey
    Posted at 08:45h, 27 April Reply

    This is really wonderful. My husband and I have just recently opened up about our struggle with secondary infertility, which is hardly ever discussed; that was incredibly difficult, because we felt guilty because we already have a precious child. I so appreciate all the encouragement from these bloggers!

  • Rebecca Jo
    Posted at 10:33h, 27 April Reply

    I was about reading everyone’s blog names… how many blogs that are centered around infertility. If that doesnt show how much it is part of someone’s life – wow.

  • Lily
    Posted at 10:42h, 27 April Reply

    I love this SO much…I will have to share this for sure! I posted my “start asking” post on Monday over on my infertility blog. But this idea you had with this, is amazing! I love everyone’s answer. Looking forward to the link up on Friday! I am still undecided if I’m only going to share on my infertility blog or if I should get personal and share on my beauty blog as well. Thanks for sharing!

    xo, Lily
    TTC Baby G

  • Amanda Greav
    Posted at 10:51h, 27 April Reply

    Beautiful Caroline! I’m hoping Becky’s spoke right to your heart as you gave a hearty AMEN! You ladies are precious and so loved in your quiet journeys.

  • Angelle Marix
    Posted at 11:30h, 27 April Reply

    I have had so many friends battle with infertility. It consumed them for sure and made them battle their worth. I love that so many women now seek connections with others who are in the same situation. All women need support and encouragement in all that we face. Loved the realness of this post.

    Xo,
    Angelle
    http://www.dashingdarlin.com

  • Lee Anne
    Posted at 11:33h, 27 April Reply

    This is such an amazing idea for a blog post. I love reading everyone’s perspectives!
    xo
    Lee Anne

  • Tia @ Good Genes
    Posted at 11:42h, 27 April Reply

    I love this! Thank you for helping to raise awareness!

  • Neely Moldovan
    Posted at 12:15h, 27 April Reply

    This post brought me to tears. But not in a bad way. Love you!

  • Evangeline Colbert
    Posted at 12:43h, 27 April Reply

    Caroline, thanks for including me in this post! I appreciate all the hope-filled words and the very heartfelt thoughts that were shared by everyone. I know this will encourage and help a lot of women!

    http://www.MakeRoomForMommy.com

  • Rachel @ Countdowns and Cupcakes
    Posted at 13:16h, 27 April Reply

    This article is fantastic! My husband and I have started to seriously discuss the possibility that we just won’t be able to have a baby without a little bit of help. Reading so many of these made me feel like we’re not alone!

  • Rache
    Posted at 19:36h, 27 April Reply

    This is such a wonderful post. Definitely a topic we don’t hear enough on!

  • Mistle
    Posted at 20:56h, 27 April Reply

    I do not have children and I have never tried to have children (yet) but I have several friends that have experienced infertility issues. I absolutely love when they are finally able to have a baby because it’s something they have so dearly wanted. Thank You for sharing this!

  • Jess
    Posted at 22:55h, 27 April Reply

    <3

  • Cheryl
    Posted at 23:42h, 27 April Reply

    Thank you ever so much for compiling this amazing list of words of wisdom from those who understand so completely. You are such a dear blessing to us all!

  • Carole
    Posted at 08:20h, 28 April Reply

    I have a precious beautiful daughter and son in love who is going through this anguish. Even as her mother, the one who loves her more than life and hurts when she hurts, I have failed to provide the right kind of support she needs. Even with the best of intentions, it’s sometimes impossible to know how to give the couple exactly what they need at any given time. Infertility affects EVERYONE who knows and loves the couple and is painful for all. It calls for unconditional love and forgiveness when this ugly monster inflicts it’s nasty wounds.

  • April
    Posted at 10:50h, 28 April Reply

    Thank you for sharing this. I clicked on the link you posted on SRT. I had a hysterectomy at the age of 34. The only comment that didn’t sit well with me is the one that said God doesn’t want a barren woman. I disagree because sometimes that woman is meant to adopt. For me, it was realizing having a child was my idol. I laid down my dreams of having my own child and God gave me the dream of going back to college. I graduate on May 7th for the second time. I have 2 very close friends that could not give birth either, and I’m sure that comment would bother them as well. In times like this, perhaps God has made us like this for a more important purpose than we know as of right now. I truly don’t believe Satan has made me barren. I do agree that infertility is not a punishment. Just my thoughts.

  • Dia
    Posted at 11:02h, 28 April Reply

    My heart really goes out to these women. You grow op almost thinking that having birth is just this natural thing, you’re taught about how to prevent pregnancy but not how to cope when you want to get pregnant but your body isn’t allowing you too. Like I said previously I think it’s great you are bringing this to light

  • Rhonda
    Posted at 13:09h, 28 April Reply

    Thanks for including me in this. Lauren from Grow My Family summed up my thoughts perfectly, in relation to waiting to adopt.

  • Meredith // It\'s Positive!
    Posted at 14:12h, 28 April Reply

    I’m going to link back to this post on my upcoming post … so much goodness in here that we need to pay attention to! Great idea, Caroline. xoxo <3

  • Tiffany
    Posted at 14:47h, 28 April Reply

    Wow, I never knew there were so many great bloggers out there dealing with infertility and writing about it. What an encouragement!

  • Laura | Making Baby Provence
    Posted at 16:02h, 28 April Reply

    Holy cow, this post is perfect! What a great idea, Caroline. I feel like every one of these women were speaking my own thoughts. I wish everyone I knew would read this in its entirety!

  • Tiffany
    Posted at 20:34h, 28 April Reply

    I haven’t been through what you have, but I know that even a year and a half of waiting was hard. An emotional roller coaster is right.

  • Patricia
    Posted at 08:02h, 29 April Reply

    This is so eye-opening Caroline. I truly appreciate hearing from all these incredible women, and you of course. I want to be able to be a better friend for those who I know going through infertility. Most of all you. ❤️

  • Kerry
    Posted at 17:16h, 29 April Reply

    Wow, this was really powerful. Sometimes I take forgranted that I was able to get pregnant so easily (and unplanned!). Thank you for sharing this. Praying for all you ladies tonight.

  • Andrea
    Posted at 18:44h, 29 April Reply

    SO much encouragement for women out there

  • Faith
    Posted at 22:15h, 29 April Reply

    Beautiful. I will take these thoughts to heart as I interact with friends who are experiencing this grief and waiting.

  • Mardene Carr
    Posted at 09:03h, 30 April Reply

    Sigh, thanks for sharing on the topic that can be the elephant in the room at times

  • Kristi
    Posted at 01:06h, 03 May Reply

    Wow! Such a great post. Bringing so many together in one spot, really makes the message echo to the core of the heart. Praying for you all and my dear friends who find themselves in this place.

  • Danielle Wells
    Posted at 19:24h, 03 May Reply

    What a great post! I have several friends who are unable to have children at this time and my heart does ache for them! This post is super helpful in understanding them!

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