Our Fertility Update

I can’t believe how long it has been since I started this blog and although I didn’t plan this when I originally started writing this post, it has been exactly 3 years to the day since we received the hard news from the doctor about both male and female infertility. We have been waiting 1,156 days since we decided we were ready for kids. That is a lot of waiting!

While I used to have medical updates to share, I know lately that is never the case. The blog has turned into more of a faith + health + travel + other blog, rather than a fertility blog. The most obvious reason I don’t talk about fertility is we have no new news, but I decided it was time to give an update and maybe catch some new readers up.

If you haven’t already, you can check out our fertility journey here. You might notice that neither of us have been tested in quite a while and it’s been almost 1.5 years since I posted that we are taking a break from intentionally making conception happen on our own including all charting, timing, and ovulation kits. If you are thinking ”what are you doing to get pregnant?” the answer is nothing, besides the obvious. Yes, we realize there is a tiny window for when conception happens and no we don’t know when that window is.

Why would we take a break? If we aren’t pursuing adoption or fertility treatments, why wouldn’t we at least try to make it happen on our own? We really felt like that is what the Lord has called us to do. Is it really, really, really hard? Yes. Are we tired of waiting? Yes. Do we wish we could do something proactive? Yes. Are we ready for it to be OUR turn? Yes. Do we have a choice? No.

While many people might believe that we are in no rush or it’s less important for us to have babies since we aren’t pursuing treatments, adoption, or making our own efforts, I will tell you without a doubt that it is NOT the case. Being the type A person I am, I would love to pursue SOMETHING instead of just sitting still. Stillness is hard, especially after 3 years. I know treatments and adoption don’t guarantee a baby, but the feeling of being proactive would sure seem nice. So, yes in case you are wondering it is really, really, really hard.

Imagine being in a room full of people eating cake, your favorite cake ever. While everyone eats mass quantities and chows down, you have to sit there and watch. No trying it. No taking a bite. Instead you just cheer them on and encourag them while your mouth salivates. You help bake the cake and serve the pieces, but you aren’t allowed to try it. Now take the significance of a cake compared to a baby and that will give you a picture of what waiting looks like. Do that for 1,156 days and I promise you it will be hard. 

Despite the trial of infertility, what I do know is that God’s timing is perfect. We are so thankful we can be at such peace and rest while waiting. Are we MORE than ready to be pregnant? Absolutely. You have no idea. Can I do anything in the natural to make that happen. Yes, we probably could increase the chances, but that is not what God has called to do. So, we are just continuing to wait until we are told otherwise or get that positive test!

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. To be honest, most people don’t understand and I hope by sharing today, more will understand. Jesus often calls us to do crazy and bold things and why He has picked us to go on this wild journey, I have no idea, but I do know I can’t change it, so I mine as well embrace it.

I hope whatever you are waiting for you have a peace while waiting. There is nothing better than letting the Lord carry you through the hard days and knowing you are being obedient to what He has called you to do. Allow Him to fill you with a peace that surpasses ALL understanding while you wait!

Our Fertility Update

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49 Comments
  • ellesees.blogspot.com
    Posted at 06:14h, 03 April Reply

    i appreciate you keeping us updated, even if there is no update, if that makes sense. i pray for patience and understanding. i hope you are blessed in that area soon!

  • Jennie
    Posted at 06:58h, 03 April Reply

    Your faith and patience are inspiring, as always, sweet friend. God will reward you both…. hopefully sooner rather than later ;). Loves you!!

  • Elena
    Posted at 07:28h, 03 April Reply

    Your analogy with the cake is the perfect way to explain it and I cannot imagine how you feel! It is so clear that your faith is undeniably strong! I hope that at some point soon you are called to be a mommy and your prayers do get answered! Happy Friday!!

  • Sarah J
    Posted at 07:59h, 03 April Reply

    Your faith is so inspiring sand I can’t wait to rejoice with you when you no longer have to wait!

  • Brandy
    Posted at 08:22h, 03 April Reply

    we are in the same boat. early on we felt hesitancy in charging, kits etc due to warnings from many friends about intimacy. We’ve now been offered iui, clomid, etc but have no peace about it. It baffles people as I am also type A and normally very proactive. It’s been difficult for me to not want to “fix” it someway. But we are resting in Gods peace for direction. We don’t want to be on a journey not ordained by Him.

  • Laura
    Posted at 08:34h, 03 April Reply

    Hi,

    It has been 2 years since we had our diagnosis and 3 since we started trying. I’m struggling everyday to understand what is it that we are supposed to do. Wait, try to adopt or just accept that we will not be parents. What made you feel that you were called to wait? I admire your faith and that is one of the reasons I startedbfollowing you blog, since I’m struggling with mine. Thanks!

  • Sheryl
    Posted at 08:38h, 03 April Reply

    I say prayers for you often but I want you to know I specifically prayed for you as I read this. Only God can give you the peace that you are feeling in this waiting period. It is when we listen to that voice that we are doing the right thing. God places us on journeys for reasons we often do not understand. Hugs to you my friend.

  • Jojo
    Posted at 09:14h, 03 April Reply

    Sweet friend ur faith is truly admiring! I cannot begin to imagine how u feel in this waiting game. Just know u are constantly in my prayers. He knows u are the reason my faith grew stronger and for that he will reward u tremendously.

  • Tonda
    Posted at 09:28h, 03 April Reply

    We have been trying for almost 3 years. Your cake analogy is spot on. And we used to attend a church where the pastor was constantly announcing a new pregnancy or birth and stating that it was a fertile church, which was like a punch in the gut every time. We also have not felt led to get any medical intervention. There have been times when I was obsessed with temping/charting, but I haven’t done that in several months. The only thing we do proactively (other than the obvious) is pray…and wait.
    Thank you for being willing to share of yourself on this blog so that you can speak into the lives of others.
    Praying for continued peace as you wait.

  • Kelli {A Deeper Joy}
    Posted at 09:39h, 03 April Reply

    Thanks for the update 🙂 Your faith really encourages me, as you know I’ve been struggling recently. Praying for y’all always!

  • Ashley
    Posted at 09:59h, 03 April Reply

    i can’t tell you how amazing your faith in patience in Christ is! I don’t know how you do it. Well of course I do, with God! Praying that its “your” turn soon! 🙂

    Ashley

  • Jen
    Posted at 09:59h, 03 April Reply

    As Lent draws to a close and we prepare to celebrate the joys of Easter, my prayer for you and Colby is that your season of prayerful waiting is also near its end. You are an inspiration.

  • Tomeca
    Posted at 10:39h, 03 April Reply

    Gosh! How I can relate to this. Our journeys are similar in so many ways. After our two ectopic pregnancies-We were in the process of becoming foster parents. Months before that He led me to stop charting and the ovulation calculators. I remember He told my husband and I that, He wanted to get the glory. We had to learn to trust God. And rest in Him. For me that was hard. Because it felt like I should be doing something to help God out. (Wow, like He really needs my help) It took me longer than it should have to learn how to rest. Now I am FINALLY in a place of trust. Resting confidently in the One who is faithful. I pray for you as you rest and believe with you for the full manifestation of beautiful healthy babies.

  • Kara
    Posted at 11:25h, 03 April Reply

    Your unwavering faith in hard times has been such an inspiration to me! love you friend!

  • Marianne
    Posted at 11:31h, 03 April Reply

    Comment

  • Marianne
    Posted at 11:31h, 03 April Reply

    Your cake analogy is spot on. Always thinking of you and praying for you my friend…..xxx

  • Lindsey
    Posted at 11:34h, 03 April Reply

    Thank you for being so bold and transparent. Your faith is so refreshing. God has BIG plans for you my good friend!!

    • Elisha
      Posted at 16:20h, 03 April Reply

      I agree with Lindsey 🙂

  • Cherl Smith
    Posted at 11:41h, 03 April Reply

    I am OH so proud of you, sweet friend! One of the most inspiring parts of your and Colby’s journey is the way you choose to live life abundantly in the process and season of waiting. You are both such a shining light for Jesus, and I am so thankful you choose to share your journey here. Only eternity will truly reveal the scope of all He has done in and through your lives!

  • Síochána Arandomhan
    Posted at 11:47h, 03 April Reply

    thanks for the update. Whatever a couple chooses to do, it’s important to be at peace with it (as much peace as is possible…) so you are right to follow your instincts or where you feel “called.”

  • Tiffany (A Touch of Grace)
    Posted at 14:52h, 03 April Reply

    Lots of prayers for you two as you continue on this journey. Your faith is remarkable my dear.

  • Elisha
    Posted at 16:20h, 03 April Reply

    I am right there with ya sugars! The waiting is hard. The daily decision to keep listening to His voice and not seek treatments is hard. It’s all hard. But girl, it won’t be like this forever! I have faith to believe that the both of us will be holding our miracle babies SOON! xoxo

    waitingforbabybird.com

  • Amanda
    Posted at 20:45h, 03 April Reply

    Thank you so much for sharing. My heart aches because I know exactly what you are going through. Crazy to think about how many days.
    I love that you are stepping out in faith. That is a hard lesson to learn. You can never go wrong when following God’s call for your life. You two are an inspiration. I will keep you in my prayers tonight.

  • Angela
    Posted at 13:24h, 04 April Reply

    Praying for you guys! I can only imagine how hard it would be to just sit back and trust God… it’s hard to do that in any situation, let alone one that you are truly longing for! Your faith is such an inspiration girl!

  • Lisa
    Posted at 21:40h, 04 April Reply

    As always, I admire your faith and your trust. Praying and hoping with you…

  • Kelly @ Southern Komfort Blog
    Posted at 09:36h, 06 April Reply

    I love how ya’ll have found such peace during this waiting period. I cannot imagine the frustrations that ya’ll have felt over the last few years. Praying that God will continue to provide the peace and patience 🙂

  • Amie
    Posted at 10:18h, 06 April Reply

    It’s great to hear an update! Your faith and plan is inspiring for sure!!

  • Amanda
    Posted at 12:11h, 06 April Reply

    This Sunday at church, our pastor preached from Philippians about how Paul says we wait with eager expectation for the Lord to move. Eager expectation means straining your neck to see what God is going to do. I have been feeling convicted about that, because our pastor said that as Christians, we are supposed to live lives EXPECTING God to move in powerful ways. EXPECTING God to answer prayers. I can’t honestly say that I live like that. Most often than not, I take the pessimistic view and expect the outcome to not be what I wanted. I am fearful of expecting God to move, because what if the answer is no? Your story is so inspiring the way you continue to wait patiently for God to move in powerful ways and answer this prayer for you. Sometimes, to be honest, I wonder how you can live like that, because sometimes for me it’s easier to expect a negative outcome than just be disappointed. But that is not a godly way to live. Thank you for your faith and your example, and I will continue to pray for answered prayers. And you can be praying for me that I can practice more eager expectation that God will move in my life and the lives of others around me. Because he CAN do anything. I believe that, but sometimes it’s hard to live it out.

  • Susannah
    Posted at 15:20h, 06 April Reply

    Oh sweet girl! Thanks for the update and I pray you get your positive soon!

  • Krystal
    Posted at 20:14h, 06 April Reply

    Your faith is something to look up to. Praying for you so hard!

  • Jessi | LifeAbundant-Blog.com
    Posted at 20:35h, 06 April Reply

    Waiting is SO HARD. Every time I pray for an answer, asking God to please just tell me what is next or how to move forward, I simply hear “Wait. Just wait.” I admit, I don’t like that answer. I’m sorry you’re in the 3-year-wait boat. It’s not a fun place to be, but our God is bigger… He has a plan!

  • Rhonda
    Posted at 13:02h, 07 April Reply

    Waiting is so hard. For us, we feel unclear as to what direction God is leading us. And being in that place of confusion is not overly peaceful! I’m glad for you that you have peace and clear direction.

  • Bind My Wandering Heart
    Posted at 07:44h, 08 April Reply

    Praying for you lovely. Thank you so much for your honesty and openness and testimony to God’s faithfulness. You are such an encouragement.

  • S.L. Payne
    Posted at 15:07h, 09 April Reply

    Thank you so much for sharing so honestly! I have a dear friend who is struggling similarly in the exact spot you are in and the waiting is so hard; keeping you in my prayers. I’m always amazed at how God uses periods of uncertainty to teach us to trust Him entirely and I think I’m always going to be learning this lesson. It is never fun or easy though. You are such an encouragement to others! Glad I found your blog!
    -Sara, uncommongrace.net

  • Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom
    Posted at 16:32h, 09 April Reply

    Thank you for the update – it’s quite the journey and I totally identify with what you said about how it can be hard to be still… I’m the same way!

    Praying for you friend.

    Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.

    Wishing you a lovely weekend.
    xoxo

  • Laura @ Making Baby Provence
    Posted at 11:14h, 16 April Reply

    I think you are such an amazingly strong woman! I am so grateful that I get to watch and learn from you on this journey. You are a true role model and an awesome woman of God. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you. Love you, friend!

  • Amanda
    Posted at 16:13h, 24 April Reply

    We have been TTC for the last 2 years and did iuis. I feel like God is telling us to wait too. How did you get to that point where you just stopped with all the meds, kits, etc?

  • Logan Can
    Posted at 12:06h, 28 April Reply

    I am so sorry to learn about your struggles. I honestly can’t imagine. I had a tough time getting pregnant with my first and I remember how difficult those months were. I will send prayers your way. Sometimes, God just makes it happen. I think it is wonderful that you are taking a leap of faith. Maybe that is what God wanted you to do. 🙂

  • Crystal
    Posted at 12:16h, 28 April Reply

    You are right, God’s timing is perfect! Prayers being lifted. And I agree with everyone here, your faith is inspiring.

  • Heather @ The Nerdy Fox
    Posted at 12:26h, 28 April Reply

    I don’t think you want a stranger on the internet to tell you that they’re sorry you’re going through this. I am, though. I wish I could give you my fertility and let you experience the joys of pregnancy and children. I hope that all your waiting and struggles will turn into something beautiful!

  • Tiara
    Posted at 10:19h, 18 June Reply

    You are such a strong & inspiring woman. We, both my husband & I are also traveling down the same journey & we only found out a few months ago. I hope to be as strong & patient as you! Thank you for sharing your update!

  • Dayne
    Posted at 10:25h, 18 June Reply

    During the “stillness” is when we hear from God the most. Sending your blessings on your journey!

  • Anya
    Posted at 10:33h, 18 June Reply

    Praying for you. My cousin is also in a similar situation and I haven’t been there but I can only give my prayers.

  • Nancy
    Posted at 19:31h, 18 June Reply

    I will pray for you, and I agree with Dayne, it is in the stillness that God speaks clearly! Thank you for sharing your story…

  • Lauren White
    Posted at 22:04h, 18 June Reply

    Praying for you. We too struggled to conceive and it wasn’t until we decided to “stop trying” that it finally happened. I have a special place in my heart for all those who struggle with this!

  • BJ Nelson
    Posted at 12:10h, 10 July Reply

    Thank you for sharing this! It is so refreshing to know that there are others that understand this. I’ve been through 2 miscarriages and right now our answer from the Lord is to wait. I really, really don’t want to, but that’s the answer. A lot of people don’t understand that it is still hard and at times heart breaking that we need to wait because they see it as a choice. Any decision regarding growing a family is not easy. There is always some challenge, it just doesn’t always look like it from the outside. Thank you for understanding and sharing your story.

  • Alex
    Posted at 19:52h, 13 January Reply

    This is absolutely amazing. You both are SO strong. I will be praying for you, and I know that whatever happens will happen at the PERFECT timing because God is planning it for you! He already knows how it is going to play out, and you are just along for the ride. It will be perfect. Thank you so much for sharing your story! My husband and I talk a lot about when we think we will be ready for kids, but in reality, it’s already planned out for us – we definitely need to go with the flow more.

  • Susan
    Posted at 09:21h, 15 February Reply

    I just stumbled upon your blog. I can see the huge way you are allowing God to use you during your waiting. You are sharing the Gospel with thousands of people, believers and unbelievers alike. Think of all of the encouragement and hope people have received from your testimony. I too am waiting. I am 57 years old and though fertility was not my waiting issue, I am waiting on my answer to a prayer that is just as important to me. I waited for 25 years for my husband to come to Christ. God was faithful. And yet, again, I’m waiting for my husband to step beyond the acceptance of Christ to falling in love with Him and becoming the man God has planned for him to be – 10 years. I am trusting God, and I know He is working all things together for my good (Romans 8:28); just as He is for both of you. I thank Him for the joy and hope He has filled me with. Thank you for another reminder that God is in control and even when things in our lives may not look so good to us, God is ALWAYS good! God bless you both.

  • Ana Mendez
    Posted at 08:05h, 06 December Reply

    I came upon your blog through a post from First 5. I don’t know all the details of your journey, but I’ll share mine in a nutshell. My husband and I experienced infertility, but the Lord blessed us with two children through treatment to regulate my hormone levels. After miscarriag, we decided to be done apart from the Lord. Ten years later, the Lord led us to Adoption. I can say it was a time of faith building. In the end we were blessed to adopt two little girls, one from China and one from our home state. They are four days apart. One we got at 7 weeks old and the other at 18 months old. So having experienced motherhood both ways, I can honestly tell you that I loved them the same. I thank Jesus for the privilege to be their mother. May the Lord lead you both as you continue to seek his leading.

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