Left Behind. These two words describe exactly how I feel. There are so many emotions I have experienced on our journey to becoming parents. As most of my friends have children, I can’t help but feel left behind. My friends have moved on without me. Some of my friends have finished having kids and most all of my friends are in a completely different life stage than I am.
I hate how I can’t relate. I hate that I feel so forgotten. Sometimes I just want to scream, “Hey remember me? I am still here! Still waiting.” To all those who walked the infertility journey with me at one time, whether from my Moms in the Making group or the blog world… “Hey remember me? I am still here. Still waiting!” To all my friends who have finished their families already… “Hey remember me? I am still waiting!” To those whose wait was months, not years I want to scream, “Hey remember me?? I am still waiting!”
I wish I didn’t have to trail behind all of those who are so close to me. I wish I didn’t feel forgotten. There are so many things I wish, but I know my wishing won’t fix anything.
I also know I am not the only one who feels this way. Whether you are waiting for a baby or something else, you might also feel left behind. Everyone around you might have exactly what you want and you too might feel forgotten. The pain is real. It’s hard to feel like you don’t belong. It’s hard to feel like you are forgotten.
At the end of the day, I have to put my emotions aside and remind myself that no matter how much I feel like I don’t belong, feel forgotten, or feel left behind I can’t focus on those feelings. When I let my emotions take over, emptiness fills my heart and mind, but when I focus on the truth, which includes God’s word and realizing how blessed I truly am, then I am able to replace the lies and loneliness with peace and joy.
I wish I had some super sweet ending to this post, but I am not sure I do. Some days I hate that I am in this situation and other days the thankfulness is pouring out. Today I am going to choose to remember that although I might be left behind by earthly people, I will never be left behind by my heavenly Father. That is exactly what keeps me going. He is on my side. He has good plans for me. I will continue to declare and trust His truth because God truly is all I need!
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
Do you feel left behind? What keeps you moving forward? Do you believe God is always with you?
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