Your Pain Matters
The pain that came when I lost my nephew, someone so special and close to me, was and continues to be unbearable at times. There have been times where I have felt guilty for being sad or guilty for going through the grieving process. And there have been times where I have tried to shove the pain away. More than anything, I have just wished I could trade places with my brother and sister-in-law and it be me that lost a child, instead of them. I wish that I could take all their pain away.
As a believer in Christ, I shouldn’t still have pain and sadness, right? At least that is what so many say. In the years following the loss of my nephew, I often felt like the pain from our family’s loss as well as infertility wasn’t valid. Why should I feel pain as I wait for something I don’t yet have, while my brother and sister-in-law had to go through the pain of losing their firstborn child. My pain and sadness, compared to theirs, is absolutely no big deal. They lost a child, when I don’t yet have a child. They lost a son, when I just lost a nephew. So does my pain even matter?
But, then I was reminded by a friend that it is a big deal. That God cares about what I am going through and whether it’s a hard day at work or the pain of child loss, he is in the details. Even though our culture often says that we should be okay, I want to remind you that it’s okay to not be okay and that your pain matters. It’s okay to have days where there are more tears than smiles. It’s okay to have days where the hurt feels like too much. And ultimately, it’s normal and healthy to go through all the stages of grief, as it is part of the process to find healing on any difficult journey.
At the end of the day, even though I think it’s healthy to acknowledge all the emotions, I think what you do with your pain is what matters most. Will you turn to an external factor to fill the void you are experiencing? Or will you turn to Jesus? He doesn’t promise to remove the pain right away, but he does promise he will be with you every step of the way. Please know that your pain matters. God sees your pain, he understands your pain, and he can bring something beautiful out of your pain. Don’t push it down or push it away, instead acknowledge it and bring it to Jesus.
PS. Did you see the announcement I made?
PPS. Have you picked up a copy of my book? Buy In Due Time, a 60-day devotional for hope + encouragement in the waiting.
PPPS. I created a group on facebook as an extension of my book + blog to discuss anything + everything. Women only! Come join us!