Keep Your Love On

This past weekend, Colby and I attended a conference called ‘Keep Your Love On’ with other friends and couples from our church. Danny Silk, a pastor from Bethel church, founded the ministry called Loving On Purpose. He travels around teaching others from his recent book, Keep Your Love On which is all about connection, communication, and boundaries.

The conference was perfect timing as we are reading this book/watching the video in our girls group right now. I usually don’t do posts on what I did over the weekend, but the reason I wanted to was because I am so passionate about the content we covered. I have no doubt, not only after hearing testimonies, but hearing the principles of the ministry, that this material is changing lives and restoring relationships.

To say I have A LOT to learn is an understatement. It can be a little overwhelming at times, but there is so much grace for that. It’s hard to pack a 15 hour conference into a few bullet points and after starting to share my notes, I decided instead to share some of my favorite quotes from the conference. While I know this is a long list and don’t expect anyone to read all of it, I hope you have time to read one or two and gain something good from it!

  • “The only person we can ever control is our self.”
  • “Marriage is isn’t just a choice, it’s choosing the same person a million times.”
  • “It’s not our job to change people, it’s our job to love them.”
  • “Just as love casts our fear, fear casts out love. It’s our job to manage our heart so that we can respond in love and cast out fear in our relationship.”
  • “Our first goal in conversations is to understand one another, not to agree with each other.”
  • “During conflict you have two choices; to build a case against the other or to move to understand the others perspective. If your goal is keeping your love on, then your decision is made.”
  • “Boundaries give hope of restored relationship. Punishment intends to create suffering as payment for failure.”
  • “If I ever turn off my love for you. It is all my fault no matter what you may have done. Self-control removes the option of blaming others for my choices.”
  • “Powerful people do not try to control other people. They know it doesn’t work, and that it’s not their job. Their job is to control themselves.”
  • “I choose you.” This is the foundation of true, lasting relationships. It is the foundation for God’s relationship with you. As Jesus declared to His disciples, “You did not choose Me, but I chose you…” Jesus chose you in the most difficult of circumstances. He chose you while you were in sin, while you were His enemy. His side of the relationship with you does not depend upon your choice, but entirely upon His choice. The question is whether or not you will learn to build your relationships with Him and others upon the foundation of your choice.
  • “Yes, it’s vulnerable and scary to keep your love on toward someone who has become a perceived threat—you cannot guarantee what he or she is going to do. But you can guarantee your own choice. And you can always choose connection.”
  • “The more others encounter us honoring the boundaries we have set for our lives, the more they will know that they can trust us with their lives.”
  • “Committing to pursue and protect my connection with you means that I will be thinking about how my decisions will affect you while making adjustments accordingly. But managing myself to protect our connection is the ultimate expression of freedom—that is what it means to be a powerful person.”
  • “Self-control is at the core of being a powerful person. Self-control means that you can tell yourself what to do, and you can make yourself do it. It sounds simple enough, but telling yourself what to do and obeying yourself can be quite an accomplishment! For most of us, it’s a good day when we obey ourselves…”
  • “The only way you can build a heart-to-heart connection with someone is to communicate on a heart level about your feelings and needs.

I think 99% of us can say that we have a hard relationship. Whether it’s a spouse, a parent, in law, coworker, child…. we all have them. I highly encourage checking out their website or even better – getting the book or study guide as I have no doubt that people who study and read this material will look at the way they communicate and love much differently! Cheers to healthier communication, connection, boundaries, and relationships!

Keep Your Love On #KYLO

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17 Comments
  • Elena
    Posted at 07:28h, 11 March Reply

    Wow, I have a lot of work to do myself based on that list, but however wonderful! Thanks for sharing!

  • Rebecca Jo
    Posted at 09:37h, 11 March Reply

    I LOVEEEEE this post. Especially the idea that you choose that person a million times over. Marriage is hard work… well worth it though

  • Amie
    Posted at 09:44h, 11 March Reply

    All of this is great!! I especially love “The more others encounter us honoring the boundaries we have set for our lives, the more they will know that they can trust us with their lives.”

  • Kelly @ Southern Komfort Blog
    Posted at 10:05h, 11 March Reply

    This is so great! There are certain people in my life that I am really having to learn how to love them, without wanting to shake them first lol! 😉

  • Sheryl
    Posted at 10:11h, 11 March Reply

    These points are so wonderful. I love that you began with the only person one can control is oneself. We are responsible for our own actions. I will certainly check this out.

  • Susannah
    Posted at 12:06h, 11 March Reply

    This sounds like it was a great conference and you took so much wisdom away with you! Thanks for sharing what you learned!

  • Biana @Blovedboston
    Posted at 12:36h, 11 March Reply

    I love all of these quotes and it’s always a great little reminder to have to solidify your relationship even more!! xo, Biana – BlovedBoston

  • Cassie
    Posted at 13:03h, 11 March Reply

    I’m really fascinated by marriage conferences and the like. Glad you learned so much, and thanks for sharing!

  • Renee Young
    Posted at 15:21h, 11 March Reply

    I love that this applies to other relationships outside of marriage. My hardest relationships tend to be those and not my marriage. I tend to neglect things when it gets hard so these are all great reminders.

  • Laura @ Making Baby Provence
    Posted at 17:03h, 11 March Reply

    I would just love to be able to go to one of these conferences. As you know, I’m now addicted to conferences. I must find the next one coming to Tulsa… (said as if I were a zombie in search of brains. Random?!)

  • ~Hope
    Posted at 17:49h, 11 March Reply

    I will DEF check this book out. Sounds like it was an amazing conference and experience. Thanks for sharing!

  • Lisa
    Posted at 19:59h, 11 March Reply

    Sounds like a great conference! So glad you got to attend.

  • Tomeca
    Posted at 12:34h, 12 March Reply

    Love! Love! Love! Absolutely love the whole premise! This is right on time as I am learning to practice my love walk daily. Thank you for your notes. And I will be checking out the book/study guide. As always I enjoy your post and appreciate your candor. :-)!!!!!!!!!!

  • Cheryl Smith
    Posted at 00:17h, 13 March Reply

    What wonderful points! I really love the parts about controlling ourselves. So much of the world’s problems could be solved with this practice alone, and it applies so effectively to our marriage relationships. I think a big part of self-control is loving enough to put the other person’s needs and preferences above our own. If both sides do that, what a sweet union it is! Thank you for sharing this edifying post. 🙂

  • Beka
    Posted at 02:50h, 13 March Reply

    I’m glad you got to go to the conference.

    Those quotes are really good and are packed with truth! Thanks for sharing them with us.

  • Kelli {A Deeper Joy}
    Posted at 16:29h, 13 March Reply

    What a great conference! All of those quotes are spot on. I’m going to check out the study. Thanks for sharing, Caroline!

  • Krystal
    Posted at 17:25h, 16 March Reply

    This may be my favorite post of yours! This are so great – something to keep in mind all the time. I want to share this with so many people – would you mind if I did?

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