Balance. It’s something I have struggled a lot with lately. Balance not only in the physical realm, but the emotional and spiritual too. It’s so hard for me to find the path between living in freedom and being obedient.
For a long time Colby and I followed a very strict eating plan. Eating healthy has always been important to me. It’s not all about staying in shape, but I believe what we put in our mouth does matter. Food is natural medicine and I am an advocate for following a healthy and holistic lifestyle. We followed the Phase 1 plan very strictly for a long time and if it wasn’t on the list of foods to eat, we didn’t get near it.
But, where is the balance? Is God really not going to give us a baby because we had a bite of gluten? What about if we eat organic corn chips, a potato, oatmeal or have a glass of wine (yes those are all on the list of what didn’t have)? Will those also prevent us from receiving our miracle?
And, what about prayer. There have been months or even years where we prayed together declaring fruitfulness and fertileness. Praying for our babies. Praying for our bodies. Praying for our miracle. Now we are in a season where prayer is still important and a priority, but we aren’t speaking those declarations as often as a couple.
Balance. Where is the balance? God has been teaching me a lot about this lately, but I also have so much to learn.
Thankfully He has reminded me that it’s okay if I have oatmeal, yogurt, cheese, a chip, or a glass of wine. He has reminded me that it’s okay if we don’t pray together every single day. He isn’t going to withhold a baby from us because we have a bite of dairy and He isn’t going to withhold a baby from us because we prayed and asked 999 times and not 1,000 times.
While we felt led to follow that eating plan for a long time we now are giving ourselves wiggle room. I know things like eating healthy, using essentials oils, praying in the war room, avoiding chemicals, taking steps of faith, and making declarations are all GOOD things, but I also know it is not those things that will bring our babies.
Balance. I certainly don’t have the answer, but I know that what is more important than following some strict regimen is following Jesus. Yes, He might lead you on a strict diet, but that’s not because He needs you to eat or restrict certain foods, but because He wants to see your obedience and He is calling you into a deeper relationship with Him. Yes, He might lead you to do IVF, but that isn’t because He needs doctors for you to conceive, but He wants to see your obedience and He is calling you into a deeper relationship with Him. Yes, He might ask you to fast, but it’s not because He needs you to fast to get your baby, but because He wants to see your obedience and He is calling you into a deeper relationship with Him.
I don’t have all the answers and I am still figuring out what balance looks like. What I do know is that God cares more about a relationship with me than desiring me to follow a set of rules. I am thankful that He desires us to live in freedom and not bondage. I am thankful that He desires balance for all of us.
Whatever method or route you pursue in your wait make sure you are seeking Him more than you are seeking what you are waiting for. And remember that the obedience, faith, and freedom He is calling you to might look completely different than the person next to you.
What about you? Do you have a hard time finding balance? I would love any feedback or words of wisdom.