Finding Balance

Balance. It’s something I have struggled a lot with lately. Balance not only in the physical realm, but the emotional and spiritual too. It’s so hard for me to find the path between living in freedom and being obedient.

For a long time Colby and I followed a very strict eating plan. Eating healthy has always been important to me. It’s not all about staying in shape, but I believe what we put in our mouth does matter. Food is natural medicine and I am an advocate for following a healthy and holistic lifestyle. We followed the Phase 1 plan very strictly for a long time and if it wasn’t on the list of foods to eat, we didn’t get near it.

But, where is the balance? Is God really not going to give us a baby because we had a bite of gluten? What about if we eat organic corn chips, a potato, oatmeal or have a glass of wine (yes those are all on the list of what didn’t have)? Will those also prevent us from receiving our miracle? 

And, what about prayer. There have been months or even years where we prayed together declaring fruitfulness and fertileness. Praying for our babies. Praying for our bodies. Praying for our miracle. Now we are in a season where prayer is still important and a priority, but we aren’t speaking those declarations as often as a couple.

Balance. Where is the balance? God has been teaching me a lot about this lately, but I also have so much to learn.

Thankfully He has reminded me that it’s okay if I have oatmeal, yogurt, cheese, a chip, or a glass of wine. He has reminded me that it’s okay if we don’t pray together every single day. He isn’t going to withhold a baby from us because we have a bite of dairy and He isn’t going to withhold a baby from us because we prayed and asked 999 times and not 1,000 times.

While we felt led to follow that eating plan for a long time we now are giving ourselves wiggle room. I know things like eating healthy, using essentials oils, praying in the war room, avoiding chemicals, taking steps of faith, and making declarations are all GOOD things, but I also know it is not those things that will bring our babies.

Balance. I certainly don’t have the answer, but I know that what is more important than following some strict regimen is following Jesus. Yes, He might lead you on a strict diet, but that’s not because He needs you to eat or restrict certain foods, but because He wants to see your obedience and He is calling you into a deeper relationship with Him. Yes, He might lead you to do IVF, but that isn’t because He needs doctors for you to conceive, but He wants to see your obedience and He is calling you into a deeper relationship with Him. Yes, He might ask you to fast, but it’s not because He needs you to fast to get your baby, but because He wants to see your obedience and He is calling you into a deeper relationship with Him.

I don’t have all the answers and I am still figuring out what balance looks like. What I do know is that God cares more about a relationship with me than desiring me to follow a set of rules. I am thankful that He desires us to live in freedom and not bondage. I am thankful that He desires balance for all of us.

Whatever method or route you pursue in your wait make sure you are seeking Him more than you are seeking what you are waiting for. And remember that the obedience, faith, and freedom He is calling you to might look completely different than the person next to you.

Finding Balance - In Due Time Blog

What about you? Do you have a hard time finding balance? I would love any feedback or words of wisdom.

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36 Comments
  • Leah
    Posted at 07:12h, 03 February Reply

    What a wonderful post Caroline! May God continue to bless you on your journey.

  • Lavonne @ *Our Wish*
    Posted at 08:13h, 03 February Reply

    Balance is one of the hardest things for me to find. I am an all or nothing kind of person in almost every aspect of life. I have struggled in the past with the “reason” why we don’t yet have a child. I wonder what I’ve done that God doesn’t feel like it’s our turn yet. We have explored many different options including fostering to adopt (as we believed maybe we were called to do that instead of having our own children) but that didn’t go well at all. It’s been a struggle for sure as we try to find the “reason”. It’s also hard when I see people around me, people in the news, having children and hurting them, abusing them, etc. My husband and I have been together for over 10 years and have good jobs, a good home, and a wonderful family. We want to raise our child in the church and teach them to love God as we do, and yet here we are, with empty arms. It is humbling to say the least. I just keep praying, and telling God that I trust Him, but the balance is hard.

    I just keep thinking of the Bible verse, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11

    I have that hanging in my house. I try to remind myself daily that He has a plan. We just have to trust Him.

  • Elisha
    Posted at 08:54h, 03 February Reply

    Yes! So much yes! I think when it starts to become our primary focus and we become obsessed or as if we MUST do those things because those things will bring our miracle then we are out of balance. We should do those things only if God has called us to it and we are doing them in light of fearing Him. Not fearing Him in the sense of we are scared of Him, but fearing Him in the sense that He knows best and we want to follow and obey what He is asking us to do. For me, He has been asking me to give up gluten/dairy (so hard and such a sacrifice). But I haven’t given up those things because I think it will bring me a baby because let’s face it, it might not. But I am doing it because He has asked me to. And so I don’t focus on it based upon the result, but simply because I want to be obedient. Hope that makes sense. LOL! Love ya girl! xoxoxo

  • ssangelake
    Posted at 08:59h, 03 February Reply

    Balance is my word for the year! Keeping balance, who am I kidding? FINDING that balance sometimes takes great effort, re-prioritizing when necessary, even letting things go. In some ways, my struggle for balance is much different from yours. In other ways, as Christians, we’re fighting the same battle.

  • StefanieB.
    Posted at 10:35h, 03 February Reply

    Amen! Your words reflect our hearts! My husband and I know we want to be a good steward of our bodies and the resources God has given us but we want to do things to glorify Him, not to get a baby. I think that’s where balance lies. I always ask myself, “Am I doing this for the Lord or to get a baby?” We can be so consumed with the latest fad, diet, pills, oils, etc. thinking this might be the thing to get me pregnant. However, I found true peace when I do things to honor God and feel healthy and a better version of myself. Thank you for your wisdom and sharing your heart! Praying for you and your husband! Grace and peace!

  • Betsy Herman
    Posted at 11:47h, 03 February Reply

    I loved reading this post. You’re right on track in my opinion! ?

  • Joy
    Posted at 12:09h, 03 February Reply

    This post is so relatable. Follow Jesus, with him all things are possible. Remain blessed ??

  • Erika B.
    Posted at 15:30h, 03 February Reply

    This is such a really, really good point/idea. Wow. You’ve given me much to think about- and I’m glad you feel more freedom to enjoy a glass of wine or a piece of pizza now!! 🙂

  • nicuvolunteer
    Posted at 16:48h, 03 February Reply

    I’m just sorry you’re having to go through this. I know someday we’ll know why, etc. but waiting is so hard!

  • Elena
    Posted at 17:59h, 03 February Reply

    Great post! Balance is so hard but so important. I often find myself in a similar situation, wanting to be healthy, but also trying to remember we only live once, eat the pizza or the ice cream! Take a walk later. It’s hard, but it’s important. Hope you can find yourself in a place of balance again where you’re comfortable & enjoying life while also being healthy!

  • Sheryl
    Posted at 08:01h, 04 February Reply

    I’ve found what we always need to remind ourselves that we are constantly having to readjust in keeping balance. Staying the same course doesn’t always fit for certain periods in our life and because of it, we find ourselves off balance if we don’t make adjustments. Balance is also about being kind to yourself. I needed this reminder this morning. Enjoy that glass of wine!! XO

  • Kelly @ Southern Komfort Blog
    Posted at 08:06h, 04 February Reply

    I love that because of Jesus, we no longer fall under the law. Instead, we fall into His grace and by that alone, we are worthy of His love. Keep the positive vibes going sister 🙂

  • bemyintention
    Posted at 09:35h, 04 February Reply

    This is beautiful. Balance is always a hard one for me. I tend to get sucked into things pretty easily and quickly and in turn neglect other areas of my life. I think loving and taking time for yourself are just as important as all of our daily practices, its just the remembering to do that thats hard.

  • The Parenting Piece
    Posted at 10:31h, 04 February Reply

    Beautiful post. I am a birth mom as well as an adoption advocate, and volunteer a lot in the adoption community. Many times I hear from hopeful adoptive parents is why pregnancy or adoption hasn’t happened yet, especially when they have been so faithful. As a birth mom who has placed, I can honestly say it’s timing. With faith, timing comes hand in hand. I got pregnant in 2006. If the adoptive family I chose for my child (open adoption by the way) had adopted before, or had been able to conceive before that time, then there is a very good chance they wouldn’t have been hoping to adopt when I was pregnant. Yes, there were MANY other families that would have been more than awesome parents to my baby. But I truly believe, in the depths of my soul, that my little baby was meant to go to them. And the only way to get him there was for them not to conceive or adopt until he came. Timing was everything.

    Keep your hopes up. Keep looking forward. I pray it happens for you one day. If you should ever feel lead to adoption, please feel free to contact me on facebook (Christie Yaworski) or find me through United For Adoption – Alberta Chapter.

  • Kristin Cook
    Posted at 10:53h, 04 February Reply

    I can relate. I am very rules-oriented. I struggle with freedom and grace. But the one thing I do know is that God is going to do whatever is very best for 1.) His glory and 2.) your good- regarding a baby (and everything else as well). I am speaking to myself just as much as you. because though my hubby and I are not trying for a child right now, there are a lot of things that I forget my own advice in!

  • Lorey
    Posted at 12:41h, 04 February Reply

    This is so on point, finding balance in all areas of life is not only difficult, but oh-so important and many times over-looked. Will be praying for your journey.

  • lifeofaministermom
    Posted at 13:46h, 04 February Reply

    This is so good friend. I struggle with this, and am struggling with this. Sometimes I feel like I find such a great rhythm and all is right with the world, but then the balance goes and I’m doing too much of something and not enough of another and I struggle to find that peace within. I definitely needed to be reminded that obedience is what God is after and everything, everything is to lead to a deeper relationship with him

  • Dawn
    Posted at 13:48h, 04 February Reply

    Great post! Don’t loose faith. I’ve seen so many women like you who have gone through the same thing. It’s a tough journey but God is with you 100%. Thanks for sharing such a personal piece.?

  • alanalisano
    Posted at 14:30h, 04 February Reply

    Love your words and your heart! It just reminds me of God’s old covenant (living by the law) versus His new covenant (we are saved by Jesus). Rules no longer control our lives- we can live in freedom and grace thanks to His sacrifice!

  • Susannah
    Posted at 15:03h, 04 February Reply

    Balance can be so hard in all areas of life! I think the key is to remember that we can’t do anything to get in the way of God’s plans. If He wills something then it WILL happen!

  • Jennifer
    Posted at 15:59h, 04 February Reply

    That is such a tricky place to stay in – finding just the right balance of heartfully following and obedience. Because you’re right, the rule following is good, but it’s not the best that God has planned for us. Following the rules is the means to bring us into obedience and make us more Christlike, but sometimes we get hung up on the wrong things. I think you’ve got the right idea though, balance.

  • Lauren English
    Posted at 17:14h, 04 February Reply

    Beautiful, Caroline. I need to be reminded often that while God longs for us to live in a certain way that leads to better intimacy with Him and healthier bodies and hearts, those things aren’t what make us good enough. His love is so much bigger than that! Thanks for sharing this!

  • hopefulspoonie
    Posted at 20:14h, 04 February Reply

    Finding balance can be so challenging. I find the only way to keep any sort of balance is placing my time with God as number one and having a planner (or I would forget what I need to do). I simply love the fact that you put so much value on spending time with God, it is a great reminder!! I love your honesty as well. God bless! Have a fantastic night. Praying for you. Keep writing 🙂 <3

  • Kerry
    Posted at 23:50h, 04 February Reply

    SO heartfelt. Finding balance in any part of life can be challenging. It sounds to me like you are doing what is right for you and your hubby. Thanks for sharing this.

  • Helen
    Posted at 00:48h, 05 February Reply

    Balance is very important – I remember a pastor once speaking on tension – how the Christian life is full of tensions we need to find so that we don’t dip into unhelpful extremes. I think you are right, we can get caught up with things that don’t really matter, however honourable they may be!

  • Ifeoma Samuel
    Posted at 02:32h, 05 February Reply

    Thank you for sharing this. I was a bit in a quick sand a few days ago. In between anger and pressing on. I am encouraged reading this.

    In Due Time friend! in Due Time

    You are loved. God Bless

  • Maria from Collecting Moments
    Posted at 06:56h, 05 February Reply

    Balance is always a tricky thing to follow, but you’re right: the rules are only half the battle. It’s discovering ourselves and what we can handle by following (and sometimes breaking) these rules that should be more important. Finding balance is a learning experience, and one should not be so strict with it. After all, where’s the balance if you tip the scales to rigidity and not leave wiggle room to indulge once in a while, right? Thanks for such a motivating and encouraging post this week, Caroline. We’re so glad you were able to share this on #SHINEbloghop this week!

  • Samantha
    Posted at 07:02h, 05 February Reply

    So very true we do have to find the right balance in life! Isn’t it great that Christ finished it all on the Cross and there is nothing left you have to do. He’s isn’t going to punish us for not doing x,y, or z. He has already completed everything for us! I feel a lot of Christians struggle with this, thinking that we always need to be doing something or God is going punish us. My husband and I were talking about the verse in James about faith and works. James had to warn the church that faith without works is dead because they got it! It was all done! By living for Christ we will have a desire to do good works but faith in Christ is not based on good works. We forget that at times.

  • Jed Jurchenko
    Posted at 07:05h, 05 February Reply

    Very well said. God shows grace toward us, and it’s perfectly acceptable–and a very good thing–to extend grace to ourselves. I often find myself getting out of balance, so this was both a helpful and encouraging post for me personally. Thank you!

  • Amanda
    Posted at 08:52h, 05 February Reply

    Balance is so hard! I struggle with doing it all or nothing. Like, one day I will decide I need to change x or spend more time on y and be like “I WILL DO THIS EVERY DAY FOR THE NEXT YEAR.” Or, “I WILL CUT OUT SUGAR FOR A MONTH.” And it’s super unrealistic and not a healthy balance. Thanks for the reminder that we should be seeking Him through it all. I just started the Beth Moore Daniel study and am so excited to have accountability in my personal Bible study.

  • tiffanyatouchofgrace
    Posted at 16:10h, 05 February Reply

    I’m glad you’re searching for a good balance for you and Colby. You have the right mindset and I know He will lead you down the path you’re meant to be on.

  • Lindsey
    Posted at 17:11h, 05 February Reply

    I struggle with balance too. It is something I am working on.

  • Annette
    Posted at 19:32h, 05 February Reply

    I think balance, especially in this society, is something we all struggle with. And while I completely agree that what you eat matters and how you take care of yourself matters, I think there is a slippery slope of hyper-focus involved. I only say this because I have struggled with weight and body image my entire post puberty life and I am going to be 50. I am following a calorie counting regimen and I am aware of the value that each food has but I am also brought back to one of my favorite verses: Matt 6:25. It reminds me not to fool myself into thinking that I am in control of any of this. It is so hard. But it helps me and it reminds me to “leave that for the pagans to do” which tells me that as a person of faith, it is more important for me to, yes, do what I can, but not to obsess over it. It reminds me that even though I don’t see the fruits yet, they will come when they will most serve God’s purpose. it will come.

  • Anna Clarke
    Posted at 22:26h, 05 February Reply

    Strength for the journey.” Yes….He fills us. And strengthens us. What I am constantly humbled by is how we constantly need to be filled by Him. And I am so grateful for how available He makes Himself for us. Thank you for sharing…He is always present! I love the truth that is presented her – wonderful.

  • Amanda
    Posted at 19:43h, 08 February Reply

    Sometimes your posts are exactly what I have been needing to hear.
    That is something I also struggle sticking to a strict diet plan for the same reasons, will he/won’t grant us this miracle IF I happen to have sugar…exhausting.
    “God cares more about a relationship with me than desiring me to follow a set of rules. I am thankful that He desires us to live in freedom and not bondage. I am thankful that He desires balance for all of us.”

    Thank you. I too have been struggling with balance lately. Thank you again for this post

  • Logan Can
    Posted at 16:30h, 19 February Reply

    Life seems to always be about balance. Balancing family, work, fun, family, friends, etc. It can definitely be overwhelming.

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